1st of November. All saints day coming up. This reminds me of a true story which happened quite a while ago. I used to work in a Chinese Restaurant and at the end of the day, we had a driver with a van who came to pick up those that did not have their own transport and drive us home.

While being driven home, we always made jokes especially since there was this kitchen helper who was scared of ghosts. Practically every day we used to taunt him and enjoyed seeing him getting scared out of his wits. While driving past a cemetery, the driver used to stop at the gate and flick the headlamps on the graves inside, just to hear the guy scream and hide under the seat . When this All Saints day came up, I, being the practical joker, organized for him a night to remember.

I planned with the other colleagues that on this day, I will dress up as a ghost and wait for them near the cemetery so that when they drove by I will come out from behind the bushes and scare the living daylights out of the poor guy.

Since I did not have my own transport at the time, I made arrangements to be driven there before hand by the headwaiter. My preparations included sewing to restaurant tablecloths together and staining them all over with ketchup. Talcum powder on my face gave me a deathly pan and putting a red toothpaste in my mouth made a very dramatic contrast. Next, I darkened my eye sockets with burnt cork . I carried a small powerful torch which I would shine up from under my chin to give me a macabre appearance.

So the stage was set. The headwaiter, as promised, drove me to the gate of the cemetery and left.
I had agreed with the van driver that as soon as he drove round the corner, he had to flick the bright on his headlamps so that I knew it was him.

How was I to know that most of the cars did that when driving round a bend ? I must have gone out from behind the bushes to the middle of the street at least six times, only to realize that it was the wrong car !
When the staff transport van finally came round, I just stood in the middle of the street with my arms folded and the torch creating shadows on my made up face. I could see our guy in the car with a perplexed look on his face. All the others, except him came out of the van. Some were taking pictures. I walked slowly towards the van and while fixing the poor terrified soul inside with a cold stare, I took hold of the front bumper and started shaking the van up and down on its shock-absorbers. This proved too much for him. He somehow found enough courage to open the door and flee!

Unknowingly to us at the time, the bartender who worked at the restaurant and who had his own transport,
drove to the cemetery to watch the fun from a distance but was waiting mistakenly at the wrong cemetery gate. After spending some 20 minutes there waiting for something to happen, a Police Patrol car which was driving by suspected that something sinister was afoot so they made him get out of the car, checked his documents and when he told them about the prank which he had come to see they became more suspicious. They searched his car and took him to Head Quarters for questioning. In those days, we did not have mobile phones so we only learned about what happened the next day when we went to work.

Hope that you found this story as entertaining as it was for us at the time !

Now for a November Joke ( or two ) 

Haunted House 

There was a house on the outskirts of a village which had a reputation of being haunted. No one wanted to stay there. One day, a man from another town was visiting and wanted to rent the place. The owner told him about the apparitions but he said that in fact that was the reason he wanted to stay there. 

So, sure enough , after a couple of nights he heard strange sounds upon investigation he saw the ghost of a young man sitting on the sofa. He sat down and had a long conversation with the deceased chap and finally asked him if he could take a picture of him to show to the people in the village, to which the ghost had no objection. 

Funnily enough, when he developed the photos of the ghost ( not yet digital at the time ) nothing came up. 
Why ? The spirit was willing but the flash was weak. 

Some Topical one-liners brought to you courtesy of Spoonful.com

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts!

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit!

Why do witches fly on brooms?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough!

What was the witch's favourite subject in school?
Spelling!

What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
Lazy Bones!

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers!

Why don't ghosts like parties?
They have no body to dance with!

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray!

What was the favorite game at the ghosts' birthday party?
Hide and shriek!

What do the birds sing on Halloween?
Trick or tweet!

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body!

Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoulfriend!

Comments and Suggestions are welcome and appreciated. 

Why not add your own joke in the comments box ?